Needing to be fed constantly

So I decided to start a new blog for some reason. I'm not sure why. It's possible that I was inspired by others who so eloquently write down their feelings on things and thought to myself, hey, maybe you should try that. I've always wanted to write out how I felt about things, but that would mean being open.

Open to scrutiny.
Open to judgment.
Open to the world.
Open to people saying I have no idea how to write.

The reality of it is, I think we need to be more open. We tend to close ourselves off from the world which only makes other people think that we have it all together when, we really don't. We are actually losing our minds like everyone else. I have always said, if more people were open then a lot of other people would feel less alone. So with that being said, I am going to try my best to be open. I'm not always going to post about "deep" things. My moments of clarity may be on something really ridiculous and quite funny, but it will still be a moment of awakening. Even if that awakening is me figuring out how to get my son to poop in the potty.

So to start, my moment of clarity today and for the past few days has been on my relationship with Christ. I have been trying to remove worldly things out of my life and it's been hard. It's hard because I was born a sinner and I don't naturally desire the things of God. I have recognized this moment of clarity before (and probably will for the rest of my life), but these last few days it has been made apparent to me that I need to be fed constantly the things of The Lord. This is the only way I can learn to be fully satisfied in Him. It sounds easy, but it is not. I do my best to read the Word every day, but I KNOW I could do better. I need to talk to Him more. I need to see where He is working so that I can learn and understand and be part of what He is doing, but that is hard. We live in a world that is all about self. When you are bombarded with messages that are so against everything God has called you here for, it's hard to wrap your mind around being made to give Glory and Honor to Him. My natural way of thinking is, "I don't want to spend all my time giving Glory to Him. I want "ME" time!! I want to go to out, hang with my friends, lay out on the couch, sleep, eat, or just be lazy". Every day I have to work against that way of thinking and the only way I can do that is if I feed myself with as much as I can with the things of The Lord.

I know this works because I saw it in my life today. I was studying my word which led me to a new song which had I not been studying the Bible like I should, I wouldn't have understood some of the lyrics. It was just a few words but it instantly made me smile because in that moment I saw God at work in my life. My God is really big on details and while the whole song was great, that lil' line I heard just got me so hype!! Yeah that's right, hype!!

So because of moments like that, knowing that I need to be fed constantly makes me look forward to whatever else The Lord will reveal to me. I look forward to understanding Him more and loving Him more than I thought I could.

This has been my moment of clarity, lol.

***Here is the song that got me hype!! There are a lot of words in this song but the lyric that caught my ears was...
"We ain't scared of ya, what they go'n do? What murder us?
 What murder does is send a surge of us to go put churches up"

It may seem small to you, but had I not been in the Word, I would not have known about how in the new testament when Christians were martyred all it did was further spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. When I really think about that, it's a bittersweet thought. That thought alone needs a whole post by itself because that is really deep!!