That's a good question right? We live in a world today where everyone is your "friend" or at least that's what Facebook or any other social media place tends to say. I mean I alone have 200+ "friends" on Facebook. I know everyone on that list because I just don't take random requests from people who I don't know or who I met just two seconds ago. Maybe that makes me a Facebook snob, but I just call it being protective of my business lol. Most people seem to get that. Anyways, out of all those friends, I would say I'm close to a few and when I say close I mean these are people who I talk to and open up to about things and vice versa. Some are people I've known for a long time and others not so long. I've noticed that as I've gotten older it's harder to make friends and that it's even harder to keep friends that you've known for a long time. I guess that's why I'm writing all of this. I find myself at times trying to keep friendships alive and being the only one that is making the effort. It's kind of hard to realize you're the only one putting in the effort. You may be thinking, well if you're the only one who seems to care then maybe you shouldn't be friends with them anymore. I have thought this myself. You know, just throw in the towel and stop trying to stay in touch because obviously you are the only one who cares to keep in touch. I have thought these things a lot and have seriously considered them, but would never go through with it. It wasn't because I was so desperate for this person to remain my friend, but because The Lord kept telling me, that's not right Courtney. I could just hear Him whispering to me, you shouldn't treat people poorly just because you're upset they aren't acting the way YOU want them to act. If I'm going to be a real friend to somebody then I need to be a REAL FRIEND!!
Don't get me wrong, He's not saying to me to just let people walk all over me or let myself get treated badly. That's not what I'm talking about here, although if someone did and they needed me for something as hard as it may be for me, I would need to step up and let God shine through me in that moment instead of walking away from someone in need just because they hurt me. What I'm talking about is still being a friend regardless of someone not calling me, not texting me, not sending me an email every now and then, not checking in, not agreeing with me, not showing they care, just not being the friend to me that I have been to them.
Writing this out makes me realize I may be coming off desperate for friends here or something lol. I have friends. I have real friends. This is more about me missing the friends I use to have, but learning that just because I may not be one of their friends anymore doesn't mean I still can't BE a friend to them. We all have busy lives and we can't always talk to someone or hang out, and I get that, but it's just lately I've been noticing who makes time and who doesn't. That can hurt, especially when someone means a lot to you. I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who feels this way at times....I doubt it, but maybe I'm the only one willing to say hey I miss those friendships. It's hard getting those connections as you get older and in my case older and weirder. I do know that I am very thankful for the people who love me and care for me and I am very thankful to know a God that tells me what it means to be a friend. I may not get it right all the time, as a matter of fact, I've gotten it wrong a lot, but if I just keep listening to Him I know that I will continue to learn how to have satisfaction in being a friend then having one.
No comments:
Post a Comment