Confess it!!

Romans 3:23 says that ALL of us have sin and come short of the glory of God. I believe this to be true, but recently I've been wondering, why are we all acting like we don't struggle with sin. Why aren't we confessing our sins not just to God, but one another. I am not saying that you should just go around telling everyone your business and what you struggle with, but I feel like we don't even tell the people that are closet to us. I can't speak for anyone but myself and since this is my blog I will obviously speak from my own experience.

Why don't I tell others what I struggle with?

Well, the obvious answer is because I don't want people all up in my business!! Lol Seriously though, why would I want someone to know my sin and what I battle with everyday. Why do I want to risk someone judging me? Why do I want to risk someone throwing something back in my face? You might say, well maybe you should find someone who is trustworthy and wouldn't judge you. That's true, I could find someone or maybe even a couple of people to confide in, but that's still hard to just let yourself be vulnerable in that way. Plus, as loving and trustworthy as those people are...they're sinners too and you never know what someone could do with that information.

Plus, telling other people what you struggle with means they get to see the REAL you (or should i say ALL of you). Not the you that you put on that shows everyone you handle everything just fine and life couldn't be any better. The you that shows, I am a mess, I gossip, I lie, I don't care about certain people or situations, I need attention, I want people to like me, I don't like you, I don't like myself......the list can go on and on.

Being vulnerable and honest about your sin is hard, BUT it is sooooooo necessary.

Why should I confide in others about what sin I'm struggling with?

Well for one, the Bible calls us to do it. James 5:19 says "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed....". I believe confessing your sins to others helps you to fight your sin because now it's not hidden. Someone else knows what you are struggling with and can help to hold you accountable when they see you behaving in such a way that would make you yield to temptation. Having someone hold you accountable can help you fight your sin and now you have someone praying specifically for you to fight this certain sin in your life.

I believe confessing sin to others is beneficial not just for you, but for the person you are confiding in. I don't know about you, but when people open up to me about anything they are struggling with it makes me feel good to know I am not alone. We may not have the same struggles, but knowing we both are struggling with something, makes me feel less alone. So many of us hide behind walls and hold things in because the devil makes us believe that we are the only one feeling this way. Example, this is not necessarily a "sin" issue, but I am a mother and being a mother is hard. I love my son and the joy he brings to my life, but being a mom can be completely frustrating and sometimes it seems that all the other moms have it all under control. Well GUESS WHAT?? They don't!! They are going crazy just like you are, but the only way you know that is by opening up to another mom or them opening up to you. After sharing stories with other moms who seemed like everything was great and learning they too were going nuts, I just thought, I AM NOT ALONE!!! When I know I am not alone, I feel better. I feel like I am not the only one going through this. I feel like I can talk to others without feeling shame. I feel like I have someone in my corner pulling for me and I am pulling for them. Someone is there now to help me when I need it.

I have always said that I wish more people would just open up (including myself) about what they are really feeling because it helps to lift any burdens you have and it helps others to stop trying to live up to this expectation that your life is suppose to be this way and this way only. You know that you have to have this type of car, job, life or whatever to be successful. I just wish people would stop pretending because it is really just putting us all in more of a mess than we are already in.

A friend of ours is a youth pastor at our church and one night at one of our youth gatherings he told the teens how he has a notebook that essentially is like a book of confession and that he actually has a couple of people in his life that are allowed to see what's in that notebook. I thought to myself, man that is scary, but man how powerful of a tool is that to fight sin. I mean think about that, if you had one how powerful would that be to have that notebook always keeping you accountable? As scary as that is to be that brutally honest and have a few people see it, I can only imagine how much you would grow as a Christian because of it. I'm not sure if I will do that, I mean I want to, but man.....to do that you need to be committed to being honest and vulnerable. I mentioned the idea to my husband the other day and said I wasn't sure if I would do it, but I feel that as my husband he should know when I'm struggling with things in my life. Whenever I talk to my husband about my relationship with Christ and how much better I want it to be, I feel soooooooooo much better. You would think that since he's my husband it would be easy to just open up about that, but I get anxiety about it. Not so much because he's my husband and he will see how flawed I am, but because I'm letting myself be vulnerable and that's hard to do. Of course every time I do talk to my husband it goes great and we talk more about the subject which leads to other topics and I think to myself, what was I so worried about? I even learn things that he's going through, which like I said before, makes me feel less alone and now I am even more connected with my husband and that sorry devil is just so mad about that lol.

Anyways, I'm kind of just rambling now, but if you've read my first entry you would know that I'm just here to express what I'm feeling and what's on my mind and I don't think about grammar when it comes to those things.

I just hope you get what I'm saying and if you are hiding sin and you think you are the only one struggling, you aren't!! Find someone you trust and just be open and let the weight of that burden go and FIGHT SIN!! Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean things get easier. As our youth pastor says, Christianity is a WAR, because everyday you are fighting and now that you are one of God's own, the devil will do all he can to mess up your relationship with God. Trust me, I know.

So I guess I will leave this post with a moment of confession. Of course since this is a public blog so I won't go into detail, but I will say that I am fighting the lie that everything in this world is better than God. That the creation is better than the CREATOR!! You may say how can you think that? It is so obvious that God is better than everything and I believe you, but it's very easy to feed into what the World says and believe what it deems at "success" instead of trusting in what The Lord and what He says is important. I'm sure there is someone out there who understands what I'm going through. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine.

A moment of truth

The truth is, the devil is the Father of Lies. John 8:44

The Fall of Man

Besides feeling shocked and sad, all I could think about yesterday was, the Fall of Man. As many of you know, yesterday was a very sad day for the town of Newton, CT and the whole nation. A young man went into a elementary school and took the lives of 20 beautiful little kids, 6 adults of the staff, his mother's life, and eventually his own. I have been sick for the past couple of days so when I noticed something on the Internet about this story, I just glanced at it with the other headlines and my since my son is home with me my television stays on NickJr in the morning. It wasn't until my sister texted me that about wanting to cry that I turned on the news and grabbed my ipad to read into what happen. I immediately thought, what is wrong with people? The answer that came back to me is, sin is what's wrong with people. The Fall of Man has become more apparent these days and unfortunately all too often it is in situations like these. Don't get me wrong, I see the fall of man everyday and even in my own life, but yesterday was one of those situations that just jolts it into your mind.

This tragedy and others like it just reiterate to me how real the devil is and how SERIOUS sin is. The devil is alive and well and will use anyone or anything he can get his hands on. We indeed are in a spitiual warfare and yesterday was just more evidence of that. We as Christians need to fight everyday against sin. We need to pray for the lost. We need to go out and reach the lost. It really sucks that these kids had to suffer in this way, but I truly believe these little ones are in heaven. I can't imagine what the families of the victims are going through right now. My prayer for them is that they will turn to Christ. He is the only way they will get through this. I pray that if they don't know Him, that they will come to know Him as their Savior. I know that until Christ's return, sin and the evil it causes will always be present, but I pray that we turn back to God and that devastation like this happen less and less.

Lets continue to pray for Newton, CT and the whole world.

Moments of Insanity

Well if anyone knows me, they know I'm a little bit on the crazy side. Okay, maybe not a little. I'm a whole lot of crazy, but it's a good crazy. There's also the insane part of me and that's where Shaun T comes in. For the past 2 years Shaun T has been getting my butt into shape with his crazy workout called Insanity. The workouts are, you guessed it, pretty Insane!! The crazy thing is they are also addicting. Once you do Insanity you want to keep doing it or challenge yourself to something even harder. Well I guess Shaun T knew that was going to happen because he came out with Insanity: The Asylum. It is NUTS!!! The difference between Asylum and regular Insanity is that now weights are involved and you have to work with an agility ladder and resistance loop bands as well as a pull up bar, if you have it. When I first started asylum I was scared, but I like that about workouts. It got me more lean and cut. It's not so much a weight loss program as it is a program to just make you a great athlete. I really liked it and I noticed that it was titled Vol. 1, which could only mean that another one was coming..............and here it is!!!

Yep, volume 2!! I was so hyped about it when I saw a trailer for it, but at the time I was training for a half marathon so I knew I was going to have to wait to do it. I got it in the mail last week and decided to start it this week, but I did do the the tutorials for the agility ladder because I had read that you NEED to do them before the regular workouts. I did the tutorial 3 times and I'm so glad I did because there are so many different moves than what vol. 1 had. So day 1 was not so bad, but the matrix push up routine was ridiculous!! Day 2 was upper elite and it wasn't as bad but that's only because I used lighter weights to get use to the workout. I know once I add heavier weights it is going to be rough. The push ups in that workout are insane as well. When I woke up this morning my back was killing me, like sore is not even the word for how it feels right now.

Today has been the hardest day so far. The workout was called Power Legs and it is titled just right. You are constantly moving and your legs are really burning, especially at the end. I had to stop a lot cause I was out of breath. I'm sure tomorrow my legs will feel like jello. I'm not sure why I challenge myself with these workouts, especially around the busiest time of the year, but at least it will help me keep off those holiday pounds.

You may not want to try these crazy workouts, but I encourage you to be active and stay in shape, it really has helped me feel better about myself and eat better. I mean I may not eat green, but I'm still watching what I eat lol.

A moment to be encouraged

I check out different things on desiringgod.org and I came across this piece written on motherhood. I thought I would pass it along. Very encouraging for me to remember and think about as a mother taking it one day at a time.

A moment of criticism

You often hear people say that they are their own worst critic. This is very true for me. I absolutely love music. I can remember as a young child getting excited about how certain songs would sound and loving different harmonies and use of instrumentation and wondering why other kids my age weren't as excited about it as me. I can jam out to music all day and be as happy as a kid in a candy store. I am not a musician. I don't play any instruments, but I do have a voice. God blessed me with one. I mean I'm not no Whitney Houston or anything but I can sing. I love to sing!! Besides being in the Word, singing is where I feel closer to God. Music just has this ability to speak to you like nothing us does and because of that I am my own worst critic. I know that making a joyful noise is not about how you sound, but I'm also smart enough to know that no one wants to hear someone sounding like a HOT MESS!! Lol I mean I don't want to hear that. Anyways, because I know this I get really nervous about singing solos.

For example, this weekend we have a benefit concert at our church and I am singing O Holy Night. Yes, O Holy Night, you know that song where you have to hit all these high notes and a really big one at the end. I've always wanted to try this song, but I've been too scared. However, this year I decided to be brave and trust that Tim (our wonderful pianist at church) would arrange it just right for me and he did. He adjusted the key and lets me do my own thing, BUT it's still nerve wrecking. Andrew (he's in charge of our worship ministry) and Tim were giving me tips on working the song differently and I love their advice because I've always wanted guidance on how to control my voice and it's always cool to hear someone else's take on a song. The problem with that is when I get fed a lot of things from others and then I have a way of how I want to sound with my own criticism on top of that.......well you guessed it, it makes me more nervous. Today Andrew told me to just forget everything they said and just feel the song and sang it, yes sang it, like I want to. I distinctly remember hearing him say, "Get nasty with it" hahaha, I knew what he meant. He wanted me to loosen up because he knew I was over thinking it. So I did but I didn't at the same time. I did feel more comfortable, but not as comfortable as I do in my own home.

My problem is, I don't believe in myself. That's the biggest reason why I have never pursued any kind of music career. I have done so many different things with my voice but as soon as I get in front of people, it's a wrap. I mean I sound good, but not the same. People tell me all the time that they love to hear me sing and how great I sound, but I don't believe them. As a matter of fact, people telling me that makes me even more nervous when I sing because I feel like I have to live up to this greatness they hear. So as you can see I put a lot of pressure on myself because honestly, singing is one of the few things I think I'm good at.

I don't like being this self critical about myself so what I am trying my best to do is to trust in God and realize that no matter how much I practice, the song will come out the way the Holy Spirit wants it to anyways. I am learning to put my ego aside and just worship God in the song and forget about everyone else that's in front of me because what they think of me is not important. If I crack, then I crack but my worship is what's really important. As much as I love to sing and sound great, my desire is to be invisible and to let Christ shine through me when I sing. I want Him to be center stage so that others can be transformed. So from now until the concert I will just be praying for not only my solo but the whole benefit concert and for all the focus to be on Him.

Hopefully one day I will learn to stop being so critical of myself.

*** I really hope I don't crack........lol

A Moment to be convicted and inspired....

So I would like to thank my brother for introducing me to P4CM ( Passion 4 Christ Movement ). I have always liked to listen to spoken word, but when it is about Christ, that's even better. This was a challenging word to hear, but those are always the best ones to listen to.

**side note....I am tempted to show this to my husband but whenever he hears spoken word he starts to think he's a poet....lol