The Bernhoft Experience

Well, it has been quite some time since I have written anything. I'm sure that has something to do with the fact that I gave birth to my second child, Lyric Janelle. She is such a sweet chocolate chunk baby. I know moms say it all the time, but every time she smiles (and now she is starting to form a laugh) I forget about all the other crazy and difficult things that come with parenting. I am looking forward to watching her grow up and being crazy like her brother.

Speaking of her brother, a couple of years ago I recorded my son singing "Choices", by Jarle Bernhoft. If you don't know who that is, then you are missing out. He is pretty awesome and has an amazing voice. I found out about him through my sister. She was watching Ellen one day and saw him on there and because she knew I would like him, sent me links to a couple of videos of him singing. I watched them over and over again because I just thought it was pretty cool how he was his own band. Well if you know me, you know that I love music (I mean my daughter's name is Lyric) and I have passed that on to Nehemiah. He loves music. He loves it more than Teenage Mutant Ninja Turltes and that is a BIG deal. I discovered early on that Peanut picked up on music rather quickly. As a matter of fact, before we found Bernhoft, he was was singing Adele songs and knew her album 21, from start to finish. When I started listening to Bernhoft, Peanut didn't have a guitar. He would use a drumstick as his guitar so I decided to buy him a lil' one and from there we had a little star in the making. He would ask to listen to Bernhoft so I obliged and turned on YouTube, but soon he didn't even need the videos and would sing the songs on his own. I noticed he did it a lot and every now and then I would record him in little clips but one day I recorded him singing all of Choices and this is what he did...….

I was cracking up because it was hilarious. I also found it amazing that since he didn't have his own microphones he grabbed what looked like microphones to him. Peanut has always been pretty entertaining and I always got the, "You should put some videos on YouTube of him" statement, but I just didn't think to because who would actually look at it. However, this time I decided that maybe I should and if no one saw it then on well, but someone did see it, someone I never expected. I woke up a couple mornings after posting the video and when I turned on my phone I kept getting all these alerts that people commented on the video and I noticed that people kept saying Bernhoft sent me here and I was confused. I went on Facebook and saw in my news feed that Bernhoft, himself, posted Peanut's video on his page and he tweeted the link as well, see........

I could NOT believe it!!! I went to church and told everybody and showed them the video and of course they thought it was awesome. Later that day I posted on Bernhoft's page that it was my son who was in the video and guess what?? he replied back and said Peanut was a rock star and hoped to meet him one day. I mean how amazing is that??!!?? I just hoped one day we would be able to see him in concert.

A couple years had gone by and every time Bernhoft was on tour, it was too far away for us to meet him. The best we ever got was an autograph from him when our friends saw him in Seattle and he still remembered Peanut. I was sooooo jealous that my friends got to meet him, but happy he remembered Peanut. A few months go by and we found out that Bernhoft added more tour dates and he would be in Ann Arbor, MI which is not far from us. My husband and I were like, WE HAVE TO GO!!! The only issue was,  I just had a baby and we had no clue who would be able to watch the kids. I contemplated taking Peanut with us to the concert, but he is only 4 so who knows how that would work out. I mean he loves music, but he is still 4 and the concert wasn't until 8pm. Then I rememberd, a wonderful, sweet girl by the name of Claire. Claire was in our youth group at church (my husband and I are youth leaders), she graduated last year and now goes to school in Ann Arbor and she use to watch Peanut before and I knew she was great with babies so I took a stab in the dark and asked if she would be available that night and SHE WAS!!! This made us very happy, but we still didn't know if we should take Peanut to the concert. So I took another stab in the dark and messaged Bernhoft on Facebook. I mean, he wrote me back on my post a couple years back so maybe he might respond to my message......maybe....please respond. I asked if there was any way Peanut could meet him before the concert because I had a feeling he wouldn't sit through that whole concert and OH MY GOODNESS, he wrote back and said Yes!!! He said, "That'd be awesome and I'd love to meet up". He invited us to sound check!! When I read this, my jaw dropped!! I immediately told my friend Katie and she was very jealous and happy for us then when PJ came home I told him because I wanted to see his face and he said, "For real??, that dude is cool in my book". I mean he was already cool in our book when he posted Peanut's video, but this was taking his awesomeness to another level lol. 

So the time had come. November 18th was here and we were very excited to be meeting Bernhoft and going to his concert. Bernhoft let me know sound check would be at 5pm ahead of time so after getting some lunch we headed to The Ark venue. We were trying to find somewhere to park so I messaged him to let him know just in case he was wondering where we were since it was past 5. When we finally made it to the door, of course it was locked. I started to look up the number for the venue and BAM, Bernhoft messaged me and said to come to the back entrance and even gave me his phone number to call him (don't worry Bernhoft, I will never prank call you or give your phone number to anyone, I hate when people give out my number and I ain't even famous, awesome, but not famous so I would never do that to you). I called him, he led us to the door and I went to open it and there he was, Jarle Bernhoft!! I went to give him a handshake and he said "No, no, hug, hug". Oh man what a cool dude!! He saw Peanut said hello and told him he was his hero. As a mom, that was just awesome to hear. So I'm sure you all are wondering what Peanut said back to him, right?? Well, he said, "Carrot sticks, Bernhoft, carrot sticks!!" Yep, that's what he said. Hey, Peanut might be one talented kid, but he's still four. I have to admit, I was a bit nervous about how this would all go down because he is still four and it wasn't like he asked to meet Bernhoft, I just thought it would be cool, like a full circle moment lol. As a matter of fact, leading up to see him Peanut wasn't too happy that he had to stop playing Pac Man to go see Bernhoft, but once he said "Carrot sticks" everything was all good. We went inside the venue and Bernhoft was soooooooooo nice. I mean, very down to earth. He asked us if we wanted anything to drink/eat. He talked to Peanut and played with him and I mean he played with him. Peanut kept acting like he was falling and he would catch him. He pretended to play the drums with him and even got on the floor and kicked each other's feet, see……

He has a son of his own, so I think he knew what to expect, but I think he would have still been the same with Peanut had he not had one. He said he could tell by watching the YouTube video that Peanut had great musical ability and told us that playing with Peanut actually lifted his spirits because the cloudy cold day had kind of put him in a little funk. I forget what he said they call it in Norway, but I will just say he had the weather blues lol. He asked if I sing and I just mumbled a lil bit and he kind of laughed at that. Hey, I didn't know if he was gonna put me on the spot. I mean I know I have a voice, but it doesn't even compare to his. 

After talking for a little while, it was finally time for sound check and he went on stage and Peanut and I sat in the front row and watched and listened. It was then when it finally registered to Peanut who Bernhoft was. Peanut use to watch the Fresh Beat Band all the time so I got tickets to the concert and when we went he didn't understand why the band was not on the t.v so it took him a while to get it, so when Bernhoft started playing songs he knew and right in front of him, his face totally changed and he started singing the songs with him. We were playing the drums on the table and singing out loud. Part of me wishes I would have brought his little guitar so he could "play" too, but it's pretty much broke so I decided against it. It was sooooo cool. I mean, we pretty much had our own little concert. He played through at least 5 songs.

So happy

Peanut took this picture 

I just sat there thinking, man this is awesome and I would look back at PJ, who was holding Lyric a few rows back, and he would just nod his head and smile because he knew how cool this was. We could have stayed there all day, but it was getting close to 7pm and we had to have the kids back at the hotel for Claire to watch, so before we headed out Bernhoft played "Shout". That's one of Peanut's favorites so he started to dance and I danced with him and then Bernhoft told us to come up on the stage so this is what happen, (if you listen closely you can hear him saying Peanut in the background of the song)

Man, that was just soooo much fun. We decided it was time to go sadly we said goodbye while sound check was still going on.

We were heading out and around the corner came Bernhoft saying a better goodbye I guess lol. He told Lyric he was sad he didn't get to hear her vocal ability and then said goodbye to us again. Man, he's cool!! 

That was such a great experience, and we hadn't even been to the concert yet. We dropped the kids off back at the hotel and turned around to go back to the venue for the concert. The opening act was a band by the name of Miracles of Modern Science and they were pretty good, better than I expected. I enjoyed their set, but all we really wanted to hear was Bernhoft.

It was finally time to hear him play and he came out all smiles and ready to jam, yeah that's right, jam!! He started off with a new song called "Wind you up", and then proceeded to play familiar songs. He was/is awesome. After a couple more songs he played a new one called, "I won't let you go" and man that song right there, was mmmm mmmm mmmm good!!! So much so that I shouted "Sang It!!!" while he was singing. He has such a rich, soulful voice and everything about it seems sooooo effortless. I know people tell me I can sing, but no this brotha, yes brotha', can SANG!!! Oh man, it would be awesome to sing a duet with him. There isn't a studio version of that song, but I hope when he records it it sounds just as simple and soulful as it did when we heard it live. Those type of songs don't need all that extra stuff, just his voice and the guitar. Of course after that song the crowd erupted in cheers and applause because it was AMAZING!!! Bernhoft continued with more familiar songs and in one of them I even got a shout out. He covered "Shout" by Tears for Fears and in part of the song certain keys are played and I sang them because I thought they were coming, but he played something different and everyone could hear me, including Bernhoft, and this happened……

Go to minute 2:35...

Yeah that was pretty cool and hilarious. The concert was starting to come to a close and he finished it out with "Fly Away" and then it was over. He took his bow and waved goodbye, but we all know that if you cheer loud enough the artist will always come back and he did. He played two more songs and one was "Sunday". That's probably one my favorite songs of his, it use to be the top one but now that I've heard "I can't let you go", it is in the top two.. I was happy he sung it because he wasn't planning on it and I asked him at sound check to sing it so when he hadn't sung it yet I thought he forgot, but he sung it and I was happy happy happy. Well,  after that it was really over. I didn't want the concert to end but I knew it had to end at some point. We stayed a little bit after to get a picture with him and thank him again for the sound check treat and of course I wanted a silly picture so this is it.....

Oh and PJ took one too...

Finally, we left and made our way back to the hotel or should I say reality lol. We got back to the hotel and to my surprise, Peanut was sleep, yes, sleep. He never falls asleep with a babysitter and Lyric was sleep too!!! That my friends is what you call, a good night!!! 

Needless to say our Bernhoft experience was awesome, amazing, fantastic, incredible, terrific......you get the point. I'm so thankful to Bernhoft, to Claire for watching the kids, to my son for being so talented, to my sister for introducing me to Bernhoft and to Ellen for having Bernhoft on her show. That day will go down in history as a pretty cool day for my family. 

Lastly, probably the funniest thing about this whole experience is that after the concert is my husband decided to keep saying how amazing it all was, as if he had been trying to play it cool all day and finally had to let it out. Oh and after we got back home Peanut kept asking where Bernhoft was and even told me that he was not Peanut, but Bernhoft. He wanted to listen to him and sing like him even more now because of the experience which makes me wonder if there's another video up his sleeve......

My Sinful Nature

It's been a little while since I've written anything on here. I've had things I wanted to express, but I guess since I'm pregnant it's making me spend time elsewhere. I couldn't help but write out my thoughts today because I'm just frustrated. In particular, I'm frustrated with my sinful nature. This morning while reading through my Bible I came across the verse in Colossians that says, "Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth". I needed to read that this morning, because I have been having a hard time focusing on the things above, especially in certain areas of my life. The world we live in feeds you this notion that life is only good if you have certain things or you are only successful if you have certain things in your life, have this kind of home, these kind of children, or these kind of friends. In my heart of hearts I know it is all lies and that those things don't matter but my head gets in the way a lot and puts in me in these moods that I can't stand. I guess hating the mood it puts me in shows my growth as a Christian, but at times it is hard to shake that bad mood. 

So I'm sure you're wondering what has me in this bad mood. Well, it's my sinful nature. Maybe I should further explain. I have the tendency to get negative very quickly when dealing with uncertainty. Specifically when it directly effects me. When I'm unsure of how things are going to turn out, I get down. I have noticed this about myself and in recent years have gotten a little better but I still have a lot of work to do. When situations come about for others that deal with uncertainty, I am a totally different person. I'm hopeful, positive and optimistic but I have trouble being that for myself and it can be over something so small. My attitude in those situations has everything to do with my sinful nature because it shows me where I'm putting my hope in and what I'm putting my satisfaction in.  My satisfaction should be in Christ alone and when it is not, I'm basically setting myself up for failure. I know that as long as I am in this world my flesh will not allow me to be fully satisfied in Christ BUT I know that the more I pursue that in my life, my thoughts and actions will be transformed more and more to what they should be. I want that so much in my life right now and always because I hate that little stuff can make me just get down when ultimately those things are not important. 

So I've mentioned before in posts that in order to fight sin we need to confess it and do our best to be open about it so that we can begin to truly fight it versus just holding it inside. This is basically what I'm trying to do, but I thought I would take it a little further to say what has led me in this weird, bad, and stupid mood today. I know that this will sound stupid and even shallow to others but I also know that I am not the only one to ever feel this way about it. Most people will probably just not admit it because of how it makes them look, but when I've seen people be honest about what sin they struggle with, I'm surprised in a good way, a way that makes me want to be honest as well so I'm jut taking that chance here. So my mood basically started because of my baby shower. Yep, my baby shower. Some sweet wonderful ladies at my church are throwing me a baby shower. I couldn't believe it because I've just seen people get one baby shower. Anyways, they are throwing me a shower and just told me to invite who I wanted and I did. Quite a few were invited, but this past Sunday many had not RSVP'd and that bothered me. I know people don't always RSVP but the number that had not was, for me, alarming. So I immediately went to a place of, well this sucks. I mean I know it may sound ridiculous to get down about but when you are so excited about something and there's going to be a party for it it can be discouraging when people aren't letting you know they are coming or don't come at all. In my head I reasoned why people hadn't responded and even said well, it is summer so everyone is probably on vacation, but somehow I couldn't shake that feeling of, this sucks or why even have a baby shower. I just went completely negative instead of thinking positively and I can't stand that. I almost didn't want to say anything because I didn't want to come of as ungrateful because I am grateful. I'm thankful for even getting a baby shower and for the people who are coming, but at that time basically 5 people had responded and I just thought I didn't want the hosts of the shower to go through all this trouble if only a few showed and then I just thought that no one cared and that of course, this only happens to me. Yeah, stupid, sinful thinking. When I was wrapped up in this thinking I thought, man you are dumb Courtney and I became convicted of my attitude and hated it. I told my husband that I just hate getting down like that because its not right and I know it's because of my sinful nature and not being satisfied in Christ like I should be. So today, I'm not in a bad mood because everyone hasn't RSVP'd, I'm mad because I'm tired of going to a place that I don't need to go when I feel like things aren't going right or I have no idea of how things are going to go. I'm mad because I'm not focusing on Christ more like I should instead of other things. I'm down because I wonder if I will ever defeat moments like these because I will face uncertainty again for sure. I'm disappointed in myself for letting the world determine how I should feel versus what The Lord says. I guess the positive to these feelings is that God is making me aware of where my hope and satisfaction should be. Also, He is showing me that He is still working on me. Philippians 1:6 says "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ" and that is a promise that I want and need to cling to in moments like these. God is just using moments like these in my life to mold me to where He wants me to be and even though I can't stand that sometimes, I am thankful that He loves me enough to keep working on me. I'd rather go through a heart adjustment that can hurt at times then have Him not adjust me at all. 

Anyways, this was what I wanted to share and having shared it, I feel better and I'm sure the devil is mad about that. I sincerely ask that you pray for me in this fight against having the mind set I shouldn't have in moments of uncertainty or any moments. Thank you. 

A virtuous woman.....who can find her?

This morning I woke up to finish my reading of Proverbs and of course we all know that this book of wisdom ends with a chapter focused on the virtuous woman. I thought it was a little ironic that I would end this chapter with Mother's Day being this weekend. I've read this chapter, specifically verses 10-31, plenty of times. Most of the time when I have read these scriptures it was to encourage myself as a stay at home mom. We live in a world today that, to me, does not honor what moms do when taking care of their homes is their priority. I mean people say they commend moms for raising their children and staying home, but sadly are so quick to turn around and say, "All you do is stay home", "You don't have a real job", or as soon as you mention you stay at home with your kids, their facial expression kind of turns to disdain and is followed with an, "Okay". Sadly I must confess that at times I don't want to say that I stay at home with my son or have said it with not the most positive attitude because I have let the world's view consume me. Which is why when I have read Proverbs 31:10-31, it's to encourage me or other moms I know that stay at home (or don't) who I'm sure feel the same pressures of this world. 

Today was different though. Today The Lord told me to read this as a convicting passage. In other words, I read it and listed the qualities of the virtuous woman and examined myself to see if I had any of these qualities and if not, where I needed to improve. (In reality though, when it comes to living your life for The Lord, we should always be improving.)

Here are a list of qualities I wrote down:

*She does well by her husband, not evil 

*She does well by her family

*She gladly serves her home 

*She's resourceful

*She's strong 

*Her household is her priority 

*She reaches out her hand to the poor and needy

*She anticipates her families needs

*She brings honor to her husband

*Strength and honor are her clothing

*She is wise and her tongue is the law of kindness

*She fears The Lord 

These are all wonderful qualities. I feel like I possess some of these and some of these I need to work on. I wondered though, what my husband thought. I was already feeling conviction in my heart of areas I needed to work on and wanted to know if my husband felt the same. I asked him to stop working and read these scriptures and be honest about how I am doing in these areas. As he sat there and read the scriptures, I was a bit nervous. My husband has always been honest with me. I have loved this quality in him, but sometimes I just don't want to hear it. I knew I needed to ask him because when it comes to looking at our own hearts, we are blind to our sin, but others can see it quite clear. God had already revealed to me what I needed to change, but I wanted to hear what He would reveal through my husband. If I am serious about changing and fighting sin, I need to confess and put it out there instead of keeping it in like the devil wants me to do. He finished reading and told me that he didn't really know what to say because he thinks I do a very good job of taking care of our family. Now this may not seem surprising to you, but I was surprised. I was ready to hear his constructive criticism because trust me, he will give it to me straight. I asked him if he was sure and he said yes. His issues have always been other things and not so much how I take care of the home. He asked what I felt I needed to work on and I said out of all of those qualities, my two biggest issues were taking HONOR in what I do and not looking at it as just a job and taking care of him better. 

For me, I have found that I have more than less not taken honor in what it means to take care of our home. I mean lets face it, all the mundane things you do around the house can just get repetitive and frustrating, and there is nothing glamorous about picking up things off the floor, or cleaning bathrooms. I would find myself becoming bitter about it. I can blame it on listening to the world, not feeling appreciated, not feeling like I'm really contributing, and whatever else. What it really comes down to is I'm not believing what God's Word says about what I'm doing. God didn't just put things in the Bible to just out them there. His Word is TRUE and so it's my heart that needs the adjustment. I need to remember that in all I do, I need to do it to glorify God. My life is to please Him, not others. Would it be nice to get praise from others?  Sure, but we all know that that is not going to happen most of time. My focus needs to be that I'm bringing honor to God by taking care of my family, even if no one shows me appreciation. (Which they do, but you get my point)

I think my other problem I have faced when taken care of my home, is my sense of entitlement. I say that because as women, we do a lot, but I feel like we use that as a way to make it seem like our husbands don't do anything. We know we do a lot so we feel entitled to things going our way. I don't know if this is making sense, but I can just think of plenty of times when my husband has complained about being tired or wanting a break and I just have looked at him like, you have to be kidding me. Like I look at him like he doesn't work. He does work. He works for our family. He has deadlines, he has responsibilities, and he has an actual boss that he has to report to. I have to remember that that can be stressful for him. It may not be the same kind of stress I face at home, but it doesn't make his feelings less than mine. Now I know my husband would much rather be at work than stay at home cause his patience is ummmm well lets just say he's praying for patience in the area of parenting, but he is still working and doing what he does to take care of us and I need to recognize that as well.  

I guess that brings me to my other issue I mentioned that I need to work on, taking better care of him. The scriptures he read had a lot to do with taking care of the home, but there were a few verses that briefly mentioned how a virtuous woman takes care of her husband or brings honor to him. My husband doesn't feel like I treat him poorly, but I felt differently. I wouldn't say I treat my husband poorly, but I know I can take care of my husband a lot better than I have. My husband asked me where those areas were and the tears began to flow. I know I'm pregnant and hormonal, but the tears I cried had nothing to do with that. Like I have mentioned before in previous posts, me and emotion don't come easy, so I knew this was The Lord working through me and helping me to pour out my feelings to my husband. As hard as it is for me sometimes, it felt so good to just weep in front of him and pour my heart out to him and share my desire to be a better wife and take care of him like I should. I won't go into the details, but I will say that since I don't have the greatest record with showing emotion that plays a huge part in my desire to take better care of my husband. For some reason, it doesn't come easy to me and I can blame that on so many things, but I believe in not placing blame and taking it as an opportunity for me to become more dependent on God and letting Him work through me. My husband was very encouraging as I finished my meltdown (lol) and I was blessed not just because he was consoling me, but because of the words he was saying. I could tell how much God has been working on him by the words he said to me. He is growing more and more and that helped me to smile through the tears that were falling. 

Anyways, I wrote all this to say that I desire to be that virtuous woman. I want to bring honor to my family, to my husband, and especially to God. I'm thankful for the conviction and the tears I had this morning. It just showed me how much God continues to love me and that He is still working on me. I guess I also wrote this because I know I'm not the only mom out there that is feeling this way. My prayer for you and myself, is to not listen to this world and to let our minds and hearts be saturated with the wonderful things of God and to let that be our motivation in everything we do.

You always take care of me...

My husband and I have always been far away from family so getting away for a little trip is not really easy for us. Of course dates are nice, but there is something about completely getting away that is a lot nicer, any parent would understand that. So if you're reading this and you live near your parents or in-laws, I hope you realize how lucky you are. Anywho, my husband and I were able to plan a little getaway thanks to our wonderful friends who watched our son for us. (BTW, if you are reading this Jackie, thanks again, a million times!!!) My husband has always wanted to go to Chicago, especially since moving to Ohio. It's less than 4 hours away from us so you would think it would be easy to just go, but visiting Chicago can be quite expensive and mainly because of the parking. After a lot of searching we chose to stay here.....

This is the Renaissance Blackstone hotel and it was pretty gorgeous and lovely on the inside. I got a great deal that included parking and a few other great things and it costs under the normal price of staying there one night. It still costs a nice little penny, but it was the best deal all around and hey we were celebrating our anniversary and our new baby girl on the way so it was worth it. This hotel has a lot of history, specifically, gangster history. It's been said that Al Capone was a frequent customer there. As a matter of fact, "The Untouchables" was filmed there because of his frequent visits. The hotel also has a history of a lot of former presidents staying there. I thought all those things were pretty interesting, but I didn't really care too much about it. I just wanted my bed to be comfy. We arrived earlier than check in time and were told that they would hold our bags so we can walk the city, but luckily they had a room ready and better yet they upgraded our room to a lake view!! I was very happy to hear that!! Our room was awesome and so was the view. We dropped our things in the room and started touring the city.

We were hungry, scratch that, PJ was really hungry!! Of course we saw a lot of places we know, but we were in Chicago and obviously wanted to eat something different. That something different for PJ was deep dish pizza. We went to Giordano's and even though it says its stuffed pizza, it's pretty much deep dish and huge. Throughout this pregnancy I haven't been too fond of red sauce so I didn't think I would have a slice, so I bought a big chicken salad that was really good. PJ had to wait 40 minutes for his pizza so by the time it came out, I was done eating my salad. So the menu said his small pizza could feed 2 but I think they meant 4. PJ can eat, but looking at other pizzas that people had, I thought even that's too much for you babe. He grabbed a slice and bit into it and the look on his face was priceless. He said, "Babe, this is sooo good!!!". I thought okay I will try it because the sauce didn't seem to be too much and you know I had to help him eat all that pizza lol. I took a bite and I said,"Oh yeah this is good". I only had most of one slice, but PJ ate 3, so he did pretty good. It was just really nice to be sitting outside with him relaxing and having adult conversation. It would have been a complete different experience had we brought Peanut and the couple next to us with their three kids proved that to us. Thanks to that family PJ and I will have an ongoing joke for the rest of our lives.

After our meal, we went walking to the Navy Pier and of course got on the Ferris wheel. If there's a Ferris wheel and I'm with PJ, I want to go on it. I love being with him like that. After our lil tour there we headed to see The Bean in Millineum Park. My honest opinion on the Bean was, it's a bean lol. It was nice to see, but nothing I would get extra excited about. After that we heading back to our hotel before dinner. I would write about our experience at dinner, but it's still a memory I try not to remember. A very expensive, tasteless memory. As a matter of fact, PJ said we aren't to speak of it for years to come hahahaha. 

Other than that dinner experience, everything else we ate was great. The picture above was from dinner the next night. We ate at The Gage and it was very very good and a lot less expensive. The picture below has a few pics of other places we ate. I know we were in Chicago, but no matter where I am, if there is a Cheesecake Factory, I'm getting some cheesecake!! I love their cheesecake!! Mmmmmm I want some cheesecake now. I kind of felt bad for PJ because he's down to eat anywhere and unfortunately I don't have any kind of appetite in this pregnancy so picking somewhere to eat would be a complicated sometimes, but eventually we got food in our bellies.

Our second day in Chicago was more sightseeing. We went to the John Hancock Observatory and as our friend Katie Spink would say, we got a sweeeeeet deal. A lot of the tourists sites offer military discounts and it only costs 15 dollars for both of us to see the view. That was pretty cool since the original price was nearly 40. Just goes to show that you always ask for a military discount no matter where you are. I would say that view was uuummmmmm AWESOME!! You know what was really great? There was basically no one up there, so it was almost as if we had the place to ourselves. Actually, this whole trip was pretty nice when it came to other tourists being around. We came right before tourists really start to come through and see the city and the weather was perfect. I thanked The Lord for that every day.

After the Observatory we went to the Water Tower Place and did some shopping and had lunch. Apparently R.Kelly was there, which was kind of funny because PJ kept joking that he was going to find him and some random black girl told PJ he was upstairs. I say black girl because we all know if PJ wasn't black she wouldn't have came up to him and said, "Ummmmm I know I don't know you, but R. Kelly is on the 7th floor". PJ just said, "Okay". I think R.Kelly was trying to find material for the 176th chapter of Trapped in the Closet lol.

All that walking was making my feet hurt, so I thought we were going to do a boat tour to rest but PJ wanted to just rest in the hotel so we made our way back there, but I had to stop. I'm over 5 months pregnant so I had to listen to my body and say I need to stop. We stopped at this water fountain art area in Millineum park and I walked in the water and it felt sooooooooo good!! It's as almost as if my feet were saying THANK YOU!!!!!!! It felt incredible on my burning feet and it was nice kicking water around with the little kids, especially the little girls since it only made me think about my baby girl. 

Our last day we spent at The Field Musem. I have to say that was one place where I really missed Peanut. He would have loved the dinosaurs. PJ and him would have had a great time together at that place because PJ is really into "old" things lol. We got to take a stroll and spend time together by the lake as well. It was just awesome to have nothing to do, but spend time together and love on each other. Sure we could have done a whole lot more, but the focus was on us. 

I posted this picture of our breakfast because that was another thing that was included in our package.  The funny thing is, where we had breakfast is where we had the regretful dinner experience. Thankfully the breakfast was really yummy and so fancy looking, the dinner was fancy looking and nasty hahaha. I swear you could put anything on these types of plates and it makes you want to eat it. It was nice having a full breakfast every morning. Before we headed back to reality (home), we had our last breakfast there and enjoyed the last view moments of sanity.

    So you might be wondering why (or maybe you're not) I titled this post the way I did. I mean technically it has nothing to really do with Chicago to most people. It does for me though. Throughout this trip, as I said before, we did a lot of walking. In my "condition" walking around for long periods of time and getting up and sitting down can take a lot out of me. My husband was always helping me, but there was this one time when I didn't need help up but he gave me a napkin or something, he basically made sure I had what I needed before him and I just smiled inside and told him, "You always take care of me". You might say, well he's suppose to or yeah so my husband does the same thing, but how often do we forget to tell our husbands how grateful we are for the little things they do, especially little things that are really big things. In that moment I was reminded of all the little things my husband has done to protect me. From holding out his hand for me to grab to keep me from something, to walking behind me in a crowded area, to putting his arm in front of me to keep me hitting something, or just going without something because his wife and son were more important. I know my husband is in the military, but I honestly believe that has nothing to do with how protective he is over me. Since we have been together I have always seen how important I am to him and how even though he jokes about me fending for myself if the house caught on fire, he would do anything to protect our family. My husband is not the most vocal person when it comes to sharing his love for me, but I've always known and felt his love for me because of his actions. Anyone can say I love you, but showing your love is a lot different. Sure, he works my nerves at times, but he's suppose to. Seriously, him working my nerves only helps me to grow in learning to love him more. Anyways, being on this trip with him and having all the laughs and conversations with him was just another reminder of not just why I married him, but why he's my best friend. My prayer before going on this trip was that The Lord would bless it and we would have a great time, and we did. We didn't want to leave. I'm very thankful that God granted us this time together, it was pretty sweet, just like our view every morning. I love you PJ, looking forward to our next getaway.......

So this is Katie...

So for those who really know me, know I'm not a very emotional person. Let me rephrase that, I'm not very emotional when it comes to relationships. I have, on the other hand, been very emotional when I talk to God or I'm expressing His love for me or how I want to grow in Him, but aside from that I'm not very good at expressing how I feel about others. I can sit here and say that's just how I am or I'm this way because this happened in my past, but I choose to believe that I have this issue to draw myself closer to God. I can't change this problem without Him. I say it's a problem because it has caused me to not develop real relationships with people and I'm sure I've missed out on a lot and have never gotten to tell people what they have really meant to me. So I say that all to say, I'm getting better at it. I don't cry and get all emotional, BUT I do let people know now that I love them and that I will miss them which may not seem hard to do to others but it has been hard for me.

Soooo this is Katie...

I could have written her a letter instead of a public blog, but I have found that really putting things out there has helped me to open up more and I think she deserves a lil love for the world to see. This is my lovely friend Katie. She is the wife of Andrew, our former youth pastor and worship leader, and a wonderful friend. Many people love her, but this is why I love her.....


When I first started going to my current church she was the first person to greet PJ and I in our Sunday School class. I remember it like it was yesterday because she was so excited to talk to us and I couldn't help but be happy to be there because of how welcomed she made me feel and honestly that's how she's been since I met her. When Katie asks you a question, she is genuinely interested in what you have to say. She is very easy to talk to and she is someone who I feel tells you what you need to hear and will is able to share her own opinion about something without making you feel yours is dumb lol. One of the absolute things I love about her is when we would have conversations about things, she would always lead things back to God. I appreciate that so much in my life because so many people I know look at solving problems from the world's perspective and she does not. It is wonderful having those people around you because it only helps you to always be reminded that God needs to be involved in all of your life, not just some of it. It's just great to have a friend in your life who really loves The Lord. Besides all of those things, I just know if I really needed something she would help me and I can feel that she genuinely does care about my family. She loves Peanut, as a matter of fact, I'm sure she will miss him more than me lol. Seriously though, she gets so happy to see him and that warms my heart when someone loves your child that much.

Well enough with the sappy stuff hahahaha, hey I did say I was still growing...baby steps baby steps lol. Here are some fun memories I will have of Katie, oh yeah, did I fail to mention that Katie and her husband and daughter are leaving tomorrow to Seattle and that's what I'm writing this?!!? Oops my bad lol

Anywho some fun memories of Katie

1. For some reason she still thinks she is in sports and continues to pat people on the butt as if you just scored a goal lol

2. Her thinking that I think she would say or do certain things to me because I'm black lol sorry Katie it's me just giving you a hard time, I actually use the phrase "It's because I'm black ain't it" with even my black friends, problem is.......I've haven't been around black people all the time in a while lol

3. Her criticizing a cup of coffee in a commercial that I believe had nothing to do with coffee.

4. I wasn't there when this happen but apparently Katie said at one time, "The smell of that perfume is deafening. " this is just one example of what I like to call "Classic Katie" moments

5. Connected with #3, Katie trying very hard to convince me to try different lattes. I'm sure when we visit you in Seattle, of all places, it will get even worse.

6. Lastly I will say, Katie has the ability to bring back up a subject way after we have stopped talking about it, like no other person I know. You always think she's about to say something profound and then she says..... "So yeah I really don't think you could call that a Mac-n-cheese".....(only a few will get that)

Anyways, Katie I love you and I will miss you and I'm blessed (seriously) to have you as my friend and my sister in Christ. I really hope we can visit you guys in Seattle so you can meet this new lil one and love up on them as well and maybe just maybe, I will try another latte.

Oh by the way, you know that husband I spoke about earlier? This is him. Andrew is my brother from another mother. First off, let me say the message he preached today was awesome awesome (yeah I wrote that twice). When we first met Andrew he was the same way, very welcoming and friendly and I knew he hung around black people once he told me he knows how you're suppose to really make koolaid lol. Andrew loves music and I love anyone that loves music like I do. I am really going to miss him leading us in praise and worship and not just because he likes to jam like myself, but because he is really up there worshipping when he leads us and I love that. This past year PJ and I became youth leaders and at our Sunday nights with the teens Andrew would give a message and I can say that those sermons were not just for the teens, but for me too. He does not sugarcoat things for these kids and he would be very honest and open about his own sin to them and I have to tell you how amazing and encouraging that was and is for me. I wish we had a youth pastor like him when I was growing up. God is really working in his life and it is so awesome to see the passion he has for The Gospel. You can't help but be excited and what to grow in the Word after hearing him talk about the Gospel. Plus, he's actually a pretty cool guy hahahaha. He also loves Peanut and Peanut loves him. I only wish they were staying a lil longer so we could have more jam sessions!! Anyways, Andrew I love you too and I'm very thankful that God placed both you and Katie in our lives at a time when I think we needed it the most. I will miss our book study nights and you telling me you wish you were black lol.

Well I guess I will end there. I just wanted to express my love and gratitude for my peeps, but really I want to thank God for putting people in my life that only make you want to grow deeper in Christ, those are always good friends to have.

I know I will see you guys again, until then.................PEACE OUT!!

Happy Birthday to my Twin (who was born 3 years after me)

This is my beautiful sister Chelsie and today is her birthday. I can't believe she is 28 years old. She's growing up so fast lol. Chelsie doesn't have any kind of social media page because she believes Facebook is the devil hahahaha. No, really those were her words, but I get what she is saying. So since I can't post this on any age of hers I decided to write a blog post in honor of this wonderful day that she was born 28 years ago. Chelsie is not just my sister, but my best friend. Me and her is like peas and carrots (in my Forrest Gump voice). Even though we were born three years apart, she is like my twin. We laugh at the same stuff, listen to the same kind of music, believe the same things and we are both weird. Weird in a fantastic, out of this world, you wish you could be us way lol. One of the greatest things about our relationship is that we tell it like it is to each other and we don't ever fight. Of course I'm sure we got on each other's nerves as kids but I always remember it never lasted long. Probably one second later we were laughing again and making our family give us strange faces. I talk to her almost every day and some of the greatest conversations are when we call each other just to hear the other person laugh at something we KNOW they will laugh at. Whenever we get together the laughs are non-stop (which reminds of how our older sister would always complain to my mom about us not going to sleep cause we were too busy cracking up about stuff) and again so are the looks from our family members.......they're just jealous they're not as cool as us lol. I love that I can completely be myself around her because for me that's hard to come by. She gets me and I am very thankful for that.

Not only is she a great friend, but a great wife and she is a great Mom!! She is the mother to this beautiful, crazy, hilarious child, Lynnox. When people meet my son, they know he is MY SON and the same goes for Lynnox. She is definitely Chelsie's daughter. I'm very thankful that The Lord has given my niece a mom who loves The Lord and wants her child to know Him for herself. Chelsie and I had our little ones 6 weeks apart and whenever they get together, it's a riot. I wish we lived closer to them because I feel like those two together would be exactly how Chelsie and I are now. Ahhhhh Family, it's the greatest thing!!

Anyways, I just wanted to say to my wonderful sister, I LOVE YOU!! You are and have been a blessing in my life and I'm sure to many others. You have a very loving, kind, and giving spirit. I hope you have a very beautiful birthday and some wonderful GiGi's cupcakes to go with it. I had to post these pictures below because they are hilarious and they make me laugh every time I see them!!

Last, but not least here some of our inside jokes that only we get...

"WOW this is a Master!!"

"Stop eating my Sesame Cake!!"

"I know what t'mean"

"She likes it, she likes the way is feels, she like the..." (I can't stop laughing at this one)

"No, your Mother in Law"

And one of my favorites...

"She's the catalyst"

Oh man and that's not even all of them lol. I hope I see your face soon, love you!!

Friends, how many of us have them?

That's a good question right? We live in a world today where everyone is your "friend" or at least that's what Facebook or any other social media place tends to say. I mean I alone have 200+ "friends" on Facebook. I know everyone on that list because I just don't take random requests from people who I don't know or who I met just two seconds ago. Maybe that makes me a Facebook snob, but I just call it being protective of my business lol. Most people seem to get that. Anyways, out of all those friends, I would say I'm close to a few and when I say close I mean these are people who I talk to and open up to about things and vice versa. Some are people I've known for a long time and others not so long. I've noticed that as I've gotten older it's harder to make friends and that it's even harder to keep friends that you've known for a long time. I guess that's why I'm writing all of this. I find myself at times trying to keep friendships alive and being the only one that is making the effort. It's kind of hard to realize you're the only one putting in the effort. You may be thinking, well if you're the only one who seems to care then maybe you shouldn't be friends with them anymore. I have thought this myself. You know, just throw in the towel and stop trying to stay in touch because obviously you are the only one who cares to keep in touch. I have thought these things a lot and have seriously considered them, but would never go through with it. It wasn't because I was so desperate for this person to remain my friend, but because The Lord kept telling me, that's not right Courtney. I could just hear Him whispering to me, you shouldn't treat people poorly just because you're upset they aren't acting the way YOU want them to act. If I'm going to be a real friend to somebody then I need to be a REAL FRIEND!!

Don't get me wrong, He's not saying to me to just let people walk all over me or let myself get treated badly. That's not what I'm talking about here, although if someone did and they needed me for something as hard as it may be for me, I would need to step up and let God shine through me in that moment instead of walking away from someone in need just because they hurt me. What I'm talking about is still being a friend regardless of someone not calling me, not texting me, not sending me an email every now and then, not checking in, not agreeing with me, not showing they care, just not being the friend to me that I have been to them.

Writing this out makes me realize I may be coming off desperate for friends here or something lol. I have friends. I have real friends. This is more about me missing the friends I use to have, but learning that just because I may not be one of their friends anymore doesn't mean I still can't BE a friend to them. We all have busy lives and we can't always talk to someone or hang out, and I get that, but it's just lately I've been noticing who makes time and who doesn't. That can hurt, especially when someone means a lot to you. I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who feels this way at times....I doubt it, but maybe I'm the only one willing to say hey I miss those friendships. It's hard getting those connections as you get older and in my case older and weirder. I do know that I am very thankful for the people who love me and care for me and I am very thankful to know a God that tells me what it means to be a friend. I may not get it right all the time, as a matter of fact, I've gotten it wrong a lot, but if I just keep listening to Him I know that I will continue to learn how to have satisfaction in being a friend then having one.

A Moment of Prayer

Dear Lord,

I need your help!! You are the only one who can help bring about change in my life. Thank you for saving me and helping me to see that I am a sinner and without you I do not have eternal life, but I know and have seen that it doesn't just stop there. I need to turn to you constantly and for everything. I know you desire for me to run to you for everything and to cast my cares on you, but I at times forget to do this or think that I can handle things on my own. LORD, help me to see that you are all I need, that you are the only one who can give me true satisfaction in my life. Not my husband, not my son, not my role as a mother, as a wife, as a sister, as a daughter can truly satisfy me. YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE who gives true satisfaction. Help me preach this into my life everyday as I am being hit with all of the nonsense that the world says that sounds so appealing. This world is selling a lie and I am guilty of believing it so many times. Help me to run and chase after you!! Help me to pick up your Word when I want to fall into the world, help me to get on my knees and pray instead of turning on the tv or looking through my ipad to escape this life. Help me to love my son and husband and all of my family more. Help me to love you more. I want to love you more. I want to be so filled with you. I want you to pour out of me. I thank you Lord for your love and for forgiving me when I fall because I know that I don't deserve it. Help me to be more forgiving of others and to show generosity to others because you have shown it to me. Thank you for the people you have put in my life that have shown me generosity and kindness when I know I didn't deserve it. Thank you Lord for what I know you will do and for what only you can do. I love you.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Confess it!!

Romans 3:23 says that ALL of us have sin and come short of the glory of God. I believe this to be true, but recently I've been wondering, why are we all acting like we don't struggle with sin. Why aren't we confessing our sins not just to God, but one another. I am not saying that you should just go around telling everyone your business and what you struggle with, but I feel like we don't even tell the people that are closet to us. I can't speak for anyone but myself and since this is my blog I will obviously speak from my own experience.

Why don't I tell others what I struggle with?

Well, the obvious answer is because I don't want people all up in my business!! Lol Seriously though, why would I want someone to know my sin and what I battle with everyday. Why do I want to risk someone judging me? Why do I want to risk someone throwing something back in my face? You might say, well maybe you should find someone who is trustworthy and wouldn't judge you. That's true, I could find someone or maybe even a couple of people to confide in, but that's still hard to just let yourself be vulnerable in that way. Plus, as loving and trustworthy as those people are...they're sinners too and you never know what someone could do with that information.

Plus, telling other people what you struggle with means they get to see the REAL you (or should i say ALL of you). Not the you that you put on that shows everyone you handle everything just fine and life couldn't be any better. The you that shows, I am a mess, I gossip, I lie, I don't care about certain people or situations, I need attention, I want people to like me, I don't like you, I don't like myself......the list can go on and on.

Being vulnerable and honest about your sin is hard, BUT it is sooooooo necessary.

Why should I confide in others about what sin I'm struggling with?

Well for one, the Bible calls us to do it. James 5:19 says "Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed....". I believe confessing your sins to others helps you to fight your sin because now it's not hidden. Someone else knows what you are struggling with and can help to hold you accountable when they see you behaving in such a way that would make you yield to temptation. Having someone hold you accountable can help you fight your sin and now you have someone praying specifically for you to fight this certain sin in your life.

I believe confessing sin to others is beneficial not just for you, but for the person you are confiding in. I don't know about you, but when people open up to me about anything they are struggling with it makes me feel good to know I am not alone. We may not have the same struggles, but knowing we both are struggling with something, makes me feel less alone. So many of us hide behind walls and hold things in because the devil makes us believe that we are the only one feeling this way. Example, this is not necessarily a "sin" issue, but I am a mother and being a mother is hard. I love my son and the joy he brings to my life, but being a mom can be completely frustrating and sometimes it seems that all the other moms have it all under control. Well GUESS WHAT?? They don't!! They are going crazy just like you are, but the only way you know that is by opening up to another mom or them opening up to you. After sharing stories with other moms who seemed like everything was great and learning they too were going nuts, I just thought, I AM NOT ALONE!!! When I know I am not alone, I feel better. I feel like I am not the only one going through this. I feel like I can talk to others without feeling shame. I feel like I have someone in my corner pulling for me and I am pulling for them. Someone is there now to help me when I need it.

I have always said that I wish more people would just open up (including myself) about what they are really feeling because it helps to lift any burdens you have and it helps others to stop trying to live up to this expectation that your life is suppose to be this way and this way only. You know that you have to have this type of car, job, life or whatever to be successful. I just wish people would stop pretending because it is really just putting us all in more of a mess than we are already in.

A friend of ours is a youth pastor at our church and one night at one of our youth gatherings he told the teens how he has a notebook that essentially is like a book of confession and that he actually has a couple of people in his life that are allowed to see what's in that notebook. I thought to myself, man that is scary, but man how powerful of a tool is that to fight sin. I mean think about that, if you had one how powerful would that be to have that notebook always keeping you accountable? As scary as that is to be that brutally honest and have a few people see it, I can only imagine how much you would grow as a Christian because of it. I'm not sure if I will do that, I mean I want to, but man.....to do that you need to be committed to being honest and vulnerable. I mentioned the idea to my husband the other day and said I wasn't sure if I would do it, but I feel that as my husband he should know when I'm struggling with things in my life. Whenever I talk to my husband about my relationship with Christ and how much better I want it to be, I feel soooooooooo much better. You would think that since he's my husband it would be easy to just open up about that, but I get anxiety about it. Not so much because he's my husband and he will see how flawed I am, but because I'm letting myself be vulnerable and that's hard to do. Of course every time I do talk to my husband it goes great and we talk more about the subject which leads to other topics and I think to myself, what was I so worried about? I even learn things that he's going through, which like I said before, makes me feel less alone and now I am even more connected with my husband and that sorry devil is just so mad about that lol.

Anyways, I'm kind of just rambling now, but if you've read my first entry you would know that I'm just here to express what I'm feeling and what's on my mind and I don't think about grammar when it comes to those things.

I just hope you get what I'm saying and if you are hiding sin and you think you are the only one struggling, you aren't!! Find someone you trust and just be open and let the weight of that burden go and FIGHT SIN!! Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean things get easier. As our youth pastor says, Christianity is a WAR, because everyday you are fighting and now that you are one of God's own, the devil will do all he can to mess up your relationship with God. Trust me, I know.

So I guess I will leave this post with a moment of confession. Of course since this is a public blog so I won't go into detail, but I will say that I am fighting the lie that everything in this world is better than God. That the creation is better than the CREATOR!! You may say how can you think that? It is so obvious that God is better than everything and I believe you, but it's very easy to feed into what the World says and believe what it deems at "success" instead of trusting in what The Lord and what He says is important. I'm sure there is someone out there who understands what I'm going through. Keep me in your prayers and I will keep you in mine.